One-Minute Melee: Ripper Roo VS Rico
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: A meeting of a new animal goes wrong when Private gets injured by the new animal's antics. Will Rico try to defeat Ripper Roo and take him down, or will Ripper Roo manage to blow up all of New York due to his usual antics? Based off ScrewAttack's One-Minute Melees!


DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Crash Bandicoot, which belongs to Activision, or Penguins of Madagascar, which belongs to Dreamworks! I also don't own the concept of One Minute Melee, which belongs to ScrewAttack!

Here's the second to last One-Minute Melee of Season 1! Anyway, enjoy!

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 **One-Minute Melee!  
Where research means nothing when you just want to watch two people fight!  
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! And NO research!**

 ** _GO!_**

* * *

 **(Central Park Zoo Loading Bay)**

On a new night in the Central Park Zoo, everyone had heard from the zoo officials, through the mouth of Alice, that a new animal was moving into the zoo. While some were delighted to get a new zoomate, naturally, the penguins were getting rather suspicious about it, so they decided to check out the place and see the new animal for themselves.

"Okay, men, we all know the drill by now. Kowalski, when the box with the new animals arrive, you research it with your scientific genius!" Skipper, the lead penguin commanded Kowalski.

"I'll get it analyzed before you know it, Skipper!" Kowalski saluted.

"Rico, just give me the crowbar whenever you're ready! I'll be on opening duty so once we open the crate, we'll know whether it's friend or foe! I need all of you to be in offense mode all times do you hear me?" Skipper asked.

Rico, a dangerous, psychotic crazed looking penguin with a scar over his eye, blabbered as he gave a salute.

"What do you want me to do, Skipper?" Private asked Skipper. "Be cute and cuddly?"

Skipper paused... then smiled. "Why not, Private? We need all the cute and cuddliness we'll get!"

Skipper then looked through his binoculars and blinked. "Uh-oh. Loading truck at six o'clock! Let's move!"

The penguins followed Skipper's lead as they slid down and hid behind a corridor as two men were taking out a box that was shaking.

"Careful, men, careful!" One of the zoo officials said, carrying the crate in. "This new animal is a little crazy!"

The penguins raised their eyebrows, overhearing this in confusion as they set down the box as it was still jumping around. The zoo officials quickly left as Skipper motioned for the penguins to get close to the box. As soon as they did, Private asked, "What do you think could be in it?"

"Whatever it is, let's hope it's not a spy for Dr. Blowhole." Skipper said. "Kowalski, analysis?"

"Whatever's in that box, according to my calculations, the odds of it being dangerous are..." Kowalski started as Rico spat out a crowbar, as he handed it to Skipper...

All of a sudden, the box exploded, causing the four penguins to get knocked back as they groaned.

"...one hundred percent." Kowalski said dizzily as he puffed out some smoke.

"What is this animal!" Skipper asked as they looked closer.

Standing in front of the penguins was a hopping, mad blue kangaroo with a dog's head. The penguins noted it was in a straitjacket, it had yellow eyes with red spirals, and his tongue was sticking out.

"What is that thing?" Private asked as Kowalski looked at the tag.

"It says the name is 'Ripper Roo', and he came from a place called... 'N. Sanity Island'?" Kowalski said in confusion, then frowned. "Oh come on, that can't be a real place!"

Private, being his usual cheerful self, walked up to the hopping kangaroo and smiled. "Uh... hello there, Mr. Roo. I'm Private, and I'd like to be the first to welcome you to..."

Ripper Roo stared at the little penguin and started laughing before throwing a TNT crate.

"What the?" Private said, noting the countdown on the box of TNT.

The box then exploded in his face as Private fell, unconscious.

"PRIVATE!" Skipper said in shock as Kowalski and Rico gasped. Skipper then went over to Private's body and sniffled. "He was just a boy!"

Kowalski went over and peered his head over towards Private's heart. "Heart's still beating, he's still alive!"

"He is? Oh good!" Skipper sighed in relief as he turned angrily towards Ripper Roo. "That's it, you are going..."

Ripper Roo laughed again before throwing green boxes of Nitro.

"Hey!" Skipper yelped as he and Kowalski (the latter carrying Private) was ducking the exploding Nitro crates "At least let a penguin finish!'

"It's no good Skipper! I don't think he'll listen to us! The only way he can go down is if we turn those exploding crates back at him." Kowalski said.

"Then, obviously, we need to fight fire with fire..." Skipper said as he noted Rico, who was smiling happily at the explosions going around. Skipper got an idea. "Rico!"

Rico turned to Skipper in curiosity, uttering a grunt.

"We need to get Private to safety! Could you take down this Ripper Roo thing and make sure he doesn't enter the zoo at all costs!" Skipper asked.

Rico then took out a stick of dynamite and a match. "Kaboom?"

"Yes, Rico! Kaboom!" Skipper said as he and Kowalski took Private and ran off. "We'll be back to help, Rico! I promise!"

Rico nodded as he turned towards Ripper Roo as Ripper Roo started laughing again. Rico's eyes smirked as he lit the TNT, ready for action. "Kaboom."

 **THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO KER-BLOOEY!  
** **FIGHT!**

 **(60 Seconds)**

Rico made the first move as he threw the stick of dynamite right at Ripper Roo, causing Ripper Roo to catch in his mouth in confusion. It then exploded in his face as Ripper Roo started to laugh again. Ripper Roo then started to hop right off as he was heading straight for the entrance of the zoo.

Rico's eyes widened, then frowned as he quickly slid over and tripped Ripper Roo down, getting Ripper Roo's attention.

Ripper Roo just laughed as he hopped around, somehow throwing TNT crates from the area. Rico smirked in delight as he started grabbing all the TNT crates the blue kangaroo threw, then threw them right back at the bouncing kangaroo.

 **(50 Seconds)**

All four TNT boxes that Ripper Roo threw exploded right in his face as he started to do his usual crazy laugh. Ripper Roo then started hopping around, putting Nitro panels on the ground. Rico watched as he followed and slid past each carefully planted Nitro panel.

When Ripper Roo arrived and planted the last Nitro, Rico came up to him as Ripper Roo jumped on the Nitro, causing the Nitro panels to explode as the two animals went up in the air in surprise.

Meanwhile, in the lemur habitat, King Julien was enjoying a nice mango smoothie when he saw the explosion.

"Maurice, do you see that?" King Julien asked, pointing towards the flying penguin and kangaroo in the sky.

"It looks like a typical Tuesday for the penguins, your Majesty." Maurice sighed, looking up.

"I want to use explosives that can send me flying high! Throw a stick of dynamite at me and make me fly, Maurice!" King Julien said, happily as Maurice only rolled his eyes.

Back to the battle, Rico grabbed Ripper Roo by the head and started slamming him back down to the ground.

 **(40 Seconds)**

When Ripper Roo's head got slammed to the ground, Rico gave a laugh as he spat out a crowbar and started whacking his head with it.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA, HO HO HO HO EE HA, EEEE EE EE EE EE EE HA!" Ripper Roo gave his laugh as he grabbed Rico with his mouth and threw him up in the air as Rico shook his head in shock. Rico also noticed that Ripper Roo threw up another crate of TNT alongside him as it exploded in his face.

Ripper Roo gave a laugh as Rico landed on the ground, Ripper Roo started to throw Nitro crates at him.

Rico groaned when he heard a voice. "RICO!"

 **(30 Seconds)**

Rico turned to see Skipper, Kowalski and Private, pushing their toy car inside as Skipper said, "Think fast!"

Rico nodded as he jumped in the car and started the engine. Ripper Roo smirked as he noticed a nearby zoo cart and hopped towards it, turning the keys.

"...how can Ripper Roo do that in a straitjacket?" Kowalski asked as Ripper Roo started to drive off into the city. Rico gave a smirk as he drove after him.

Rico gave chase to Ripper Roo as Ripper Roo was throwing TNT crates behind him. Rico smirked as he started maneuvering his way around the TNT crates then smirked, grabbing one of the TNT crates and threw them right at Ripper Roo as it landed on his car.

Ripper Roo then heard the countdown coming in from behind and yelped as he noticed the TNT crate counting down. Before he could do the hop up and down maneuver to get rid of the crate, it exploded, causing the zoo cart to fall apart.

 **(20 Seconds)**

Rico saw his chance as he jumped out of the car, causing it to hit Ripper Roo as he flew up in the air. Rico smirked as he hacked up a shovel and a blanket. He then started to dig a hole in the city roads, leading down to the sewers. Rico then covered the hole with the blanket as he waited.

Ripper Roo then landed right on the blanket, but fell in the hole, causing Ripper Roo to hit the water of the sewers as Rico dove down after the blue kangaroo creature.

Ripper Roo hopped out of the sewer waters as he started laughing. Rico gave a laugh as well as he hacked up some more dynamite and threw it right in Ripper Roo's face.

 **(10 Seconds)**

Ripper Roo yelped as he tried to duck each dynamite throw, but he didn't do quite good. Rico gave a smirk as he went up and hacked up a crowbar as he whacked Ripper Roo right in the skull.

Skipper, Kowalski and Private, who had now just caught up, were watching the fight in anticipation as they looked concerned for their fellow soldier.

Ripper Roo then threw Rico off his back as Rico was knocked into a wall.

 **(5...)**

Ripper Roo laughed as he threw one more Nitro crate right at Rico.

 **(4...)**

Rico rolled out of the way of the Nitro crate as it exploded on the side of the wall.

 **(3...)**

Rico then ran right up to Ripper Roo, crowbar in hand as he jumped up.

 **(2...)**

Ripper Roo got out a TNT crate at the same time as Rico was about to get close to him.

 **(1...)**

Unfortunately, it just wasn't meant to be for Ripper Roo as Rico clobbered him on the head with the crowbar.

 _ **KO!**_

Ripper Roo then started seeing meat flow around his head as the TNT crate he was still holding exploded in his face. Ripper Roo then backed up dizzily and fell into the sewer waters as Rico and the other penguins watched him being swept away through the sewers.

"Wow... good job, Rico!" Skipper said. "That fight deserves an extra reward!"

"Fish?" Rico asked in interest.

"Sure! All the fish we can eat!" Skipper said as the four penguins started to climb out of the sewer.

"Where do you think Ripper Roo will end up?" Private asked.

"By morning, he'll probably be miles away somewhere, wreaking havoc. I don't think we'll ever see that kangaroo creature again." Kowalski explained.

"Which is just as well. We already have ONE crazy animal... and we have him by our side!" Skipper said as he rubbed his flipper on Rico's head, causing him to blush a bit.

With that, the four penguins went off towards another mission... to get some more fish from the docking boats at the docks!

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 **(The Flower Garden Of Hope)**

It had been almost since Helga Pataki and Ashley Spinelli had a fight in this place. Thanks to the damages caused by the girls (though, it remained unknown to the other students of PS 118 and Third Street School that the two actually fought (with the exception of close friends, but they kept quiet about it)), it took them about a month for the gardeners to replant the flowers.

"There we go. The last of the flowers are in, and we can reopen the Flower Garden of Hope once again!" The gardener smiled. "Man, I have to go to the bathroom."

The gardener hummed as he was about to enter the bathroom... when he noticed the toilet shaking. "What the..."

All of a sudden, Ripper Roo came out of the toilet, the toilet breaking and flooding as Ripper Roo laughed, hopping around like mad as he exited the bathroom. The gardener watched in horror as Ripper Roo started throwing TNT and Nitro crates at the flowers, causing them to be ruined.

The gardener groaned. "Oh no, not again..."

 **This melee's winner is...**

 ** _RICO_**

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And that's all for this One-Minute Melee! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!


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